Four of Life’s Ingredients to Contemplate: Impermanence, La Chispa, Agency, and Potential

As we enter a new year, many of us may find ourselves reflecting on the last twelve months and envisioning what we want to have happen in the year ahead.  

Here are a few themes and questions the BEI team is contemplating as we move into 2023 and that we plan to continue exploring more intentionally. They are topics we think others might find some benefit and value in; so, we thought we’d share them with you here: 

Impermanence: The only constant is change itself 

• “What do I need to say ‘goodbye’ to or grieve the loss of?” Maybe these are losses that have already happened but have not yet been grieved. 
• “What have I outgrown? What is no longer serving me well?” This could be people, things, situations, surroundings, behaviors, routines, habits, beliefs, etc. that are no longer conducive—or maybe never were. 
• “How will I grieve my losses going forward?” Dr. Edith Eva Eger, Holocaust survivor and renowned speaker and psychologist, talks about the importance of grieving, feeling, and healing, not just once or twice a year, but each day we are alive: The Journey of Grieving, Feeling and Healing 
• “What practices will I engage in so that when conditions do change, I will be able to show up at my best and have greater agency over what is possible for me to have influence over within myself?” Not sure where to start? Join us for one of our EI programs in which you delve into EI micro-techniques and where in your own life you have the possibility for more moments of choice and agency: Online EI Training, BEI Masterclass, and Emotional Intelligence Coaching Certification (EICC) 

La Chispa: What is the Spark to Your Flame? 

• La Chispa is Spanish for flame or spark, a term we use to talk about our Inner Coach. Specifically, that aspect of ourselves that is the source of our inner wisdom that allows us to tune into, follow, and trust our inner guidance system. 
• We are reminded of the call to action waiting for us each at the soul’s proverbial doorsteps in the poem written by Oriah entitled The Invitation. Here, is the intro: 

It doesn’t interest me what you do for a living, I want to know what you ache for, and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart’s longing… 

• “Where have I lost my way or lost track of what I want, or what is important to me?” With the speed with which we are living and in the age of distraction, it’s all too easy to lose sight of what really matters. The key is to notice when we do and to take the time to rediscover what makes us tick, what gives us joy and meaning, and what it is we will ultimately measure our life by, our sense of wellbeing, and success. 

Accessing Your Full Potential 

• A little over a year ago this time, our CEO S. Michele Nevarez published her book, Beyond Emotional Intelligence: A Guide to Accessing Your Full Potential. BEI has since geared its individual and enterprise programs on the insights from her book in which she explores the latest implications of neuroscience research on what it means to Embody Emotional Intelligence using the practical wisdom of the 12 Self-Discoveries. Here, is a brief passage from the book,  

Emotions play a variety of notable functions in our lives, including elevating and drawing our attention to their signals…The way the scent of a skunk dutifully follows its owner, our emotions forewarn of their approach in the form of bodily signals and affect as if to let us know they’re on the premises. And like a skunk’s musky trace, they leave a lingering impression you can almost taste. Emotions set a definitive tone, a palpable atmosphere to whatever is already present. As our emotions make themselves known, their valence and salience flood our bodies like the vibrant colors of a sunset we behold but briefly before its glistening rays of light suddenly fade to an icy blue gray. 

• In Spirited Away, one of our favorite movies by Hayao Miyazaki, we are reminded that what we experience in our outer daily lives is always a reflection of our inner world, that is how we habitually perceive and interpret reality. Namely, how we relate to our thoughts, feelings, and emotions as well as how we navigate the things in life we are afraid of. 

• “Where are you hiding in your own life? In what ways are you allowing fear to dictate your direction in life” As Jungian psychologist James Hollis eloquently encourages us to consider in his book, Living an Examined Life:

…which choice summons us to a more developmental journey? 

• Imagine looking back over your life from the vantage point of being at the end of your life’s journey. Contemplate how you want to feel about the life you’ve lived. How do you want others to have experienced you? Then ask, “How do I need to live my life now to ensure that happens? What shifts and changes can I make right now that will place me on the trajectory to achieve what is in alignment with my heart?” 

Am I an Agent of World Benefit? 

• As we each explore the role we play in making the world a better place now and in the future, ask yourself, “What might it look like or mean to be an Agent of World Benefit?”  

• “What is my person effect, how others experience me? What is my ripple effect on self, others, and the planet?” To the degree there is a delta, or an opportunity, to bring my person and my ripple effect closer together, what actions am I willing to take now to do so?  
• “What kind of internal and external conditions do I need to create for myself to show up at my best?” We don’t have to have a monopoly on the truth or have achieved a state of perfection to make a meaningful difference in our own or other people’s lives. We simply need to know where we have agency within ourselves and practice enacting it in as many contexts as we can so that when we most need to be skillful, wise, and emotionally intelligent we can be! 

To find out more about BEI’s programs, visit us on our website: Beyond EI (BEI) 

May your New Year be abundant in meaning and opportunity! May you have wellbeing and mental freedom! 

Best Regards, 

Michele & the Beyond EI Team 

P.S. If one of your aspirations for the new year is to become an EI-Certified coach, you may consider joining our 2023 Emotional Intelligence Coaching Certification (EICC) program. All who register before January 21st, 2023, receive a 10% discount!   

Photo Credit: Ian Parker